Every person around me, man or woman, friend or stranger, makes me nervous, whether they talk to me or not. My heart races, the blood starts pounding in my head, chills run down my spine. My breath grows shorter and faster. My throat tightens leaving me feeling like I am almost out of air. I feel like I am running even when I am standing still.
I know this all started after a bad period of people breaking my trust. I let what those people did and said get to me. I let it change how I saw the world and the people surrounding me. Now I am lost deep in this daily panic, which is very bad for a writer. I have to get over this but I don't know how.
This blog post is my sad attempt to pull myself out of this. I am forcing myself to sit here in a library full of people until I have finished writing today. I am just itching to go home and relax again with a good book.
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