The Nature of Friendship

There are many levels of friendship and each one is different for each person. I have yet to find that perfect friendship that has everything I want.  I have known deep loneliness. I looked for that friend who could be the cure all to my depression and loneliness but I never found them. I guess you can say I have kind of given up on ever finding that perfect best friend. Instead I have started settling into the friendships I have.

Those relationships are the ones that really test me. I am tested every day by a cat who always seems to want attention when I am busy or too tried. Every day she reminds me that I have to take time for others if I want them to take time for me. One of my human friends reminds me that sometimes opposites can attract and become good friends. I see her personality and I am always reminded of why I live my life the way I do.

The real nature of friendship is that you have to treat it like a marriage. You pick someone and you become stuck to each other. You just don’t leave them because of some little annoying habit they have. You have to learn to deal with it. 

People Make Me Nervous

Every person around me, man or woman, friend or stranger, makes me nervous, whether they talk to me or not. My heart races, the blood starts pounding in my head, chills run down my spine. My breath grows shorter and faster. My throat tightens leaving me feeling like I am almost out of air. I feel like I am running even when I am standing still.
I know this all started after a bad period of people breaking my trust. I let what those people did and said get to me. I let it change how I saw the world and the people surrounding me. Now I am lost deep in this daily panic, which is very bad for a writer. I have to get over this but I don't know how.
This blog post is my sad attempt to pull myself out of this. I am forcing myself to sit here in a library full of people until I have finished writing today. I am just itching to go home and relax again with a good book.

Pay it Forward!

This is a movie that I think everyone should watch.

Living in the Past

Dreams of Food and Future

I would like to switch to a whole food traditional Indian diet. I would eat only fresh or frozen fruits, vegetables and meat. My kitchen will always be full of fresh fruits and vegetables. I would never buy canned or boxed food. I hate how much salt is in things like that. I will not have canned food in my house, unless it if pet food. I will make my own soups from all fresh ingredients. Sadly I do not have a kitchen of my own. When at the mercy of family and friends’ cooking, it can be very difficult to avoid unhealthy ingredients. I do my best to choose the healthiest food in the house but I still much eat what others cook. All leftovers must be gone before I can cook something I like. I eat when and what the family eats, both out of respect and out of fear. I respect the work they have put into making the meal and I fear the anger and the words that come if I don’t eat it.

I keep telling myself that soon. I will make money with my writing or find a husband. It would be best to have both. My plan is to work hard on my writing, try not to let others push me back into depression, and save up for a place of my own. I will leave the matter of a husband to God. Maybe he will help my sister and friends to find me a good husband.  

Boxes of love

Quote of the Day

Don’t judge any man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins

Quote of the Day

A smile you sent, will always return

Toe Rings are one of the five signs of Marriage for a Woman in India

There is Nothing like the Relationship you have with a Good Friend

What is Love?

Who really knows what love is or where it comes from. That is because it is everything and everywhere. Anyone can fall in love with anyone, which is the beauty of it. Love unlike people does not judge. Love does not see race, religion or even gender. I know it is nearly impossible but we should all at least be accepting of others and their love. You would want the same thing when you find your love. None of us get to chose it just happens, so accept it in others as well as yourself.

Learning more about myself everyday

I learn sometime new every day. I have learned what type of person I am well at least when it comes to love and relationships. I knew this somewhat already but I accept it now, before I was ashamed and afraid of it. I was letting it get to me and bring me down. Now I have learned that is just the way I am and it's ok. I am me. I should not hide who I to make others happy. I will continue to learn more about myself as life goes on but I Don't think I will ever stop learning.

What I have learned of love

I have learned a valuable lesson that has freed my soul, well at least a little more than it was.

Love is something that I thought you find one time and keep till death takes it away and then you never find love again. I believed that there is one true love for everyone and only one. I also thought that if they stop loving you then it was never true love. I have learned this is not really the truth.

One can fall in and out of love many times and all that love is true. I have loved one who stopped loving me and even turned mean but it was still love. I have also learned that it is possible to love more than one at a time. I hurt one because I thought that my love for another was the only real love.

The point is that you can find love and have it be true but people change. You can love more than once.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ONE TRUE LOVE FOR EVERYBODY AND ONLY ONE. THAT IS A MYTH.

Unexpected Beauty

The Beauty of Pain

Have you ever felt that kind of pleasurable pain that comes with passion and leaves your body in a state of erotic bliss? Have you ever felt the bliss of trusting your lover enough to let them cause you pain while knowing that pain will not go beyond the pleasurable level. Within that state of erotic bliss is where the beauty of pain lies.

The Beauty of Sex

Have you ever experienced passionate sex with someone after having desire and lust boiling just under your skin all day? Have you ever experienced that deep imitate connection of having your body intertwined around someone else. Sex is Beautiful.

The Beauty of Lust

Have you ever known someone who just the sight of or even thought of them sent a wave of desire rolled under your skin? Such strong lust and desire rolling in waves under the skin needs to be let out and that is the beauty of lust.

Who Should Pay

One day I found myself thinking about relationships and first dates. When someone goes on a date, which person should pay? Should it be the guy, the girl or both? Everyone has an opinion, so I decided to interview some people.

One of my friends from high school, Athena Rose "When going on a date I think you should plan on going Dutch (50-50). Now if someone offers to pay let them just make sure you pay for something else throughout the date, or next time you everyone likes to be paid for so return the favor every once in awhile. It's not all up to a certain person."

Aaron says that “Typically on a first date I feel the man should pay for everything. After can be a different matter."

Olivia believes that "when you go out on a first date should pay. If it's going on a romantic dinner or something else, he should pay. But if it's like going out to the movies you both should pay. It actually depends. If he offers, make sure he's okay with it.”

Everyone has their own opinions on the subject. I agree that most of the time it should be that the man who pays, but I also hold a few exceptions to this rule. If it is the guy’s birthday or a day to celebrate something in his life such as a new job or honors in school or work then the girl should pay. I also believe that if she is the one to ask him out to the date then the girl should pay. That being said any other time I believe it should be the guy who pays.