Spiritual Ayurveda

Ayurveda is the system of healing that has been used in India for thousands of years. It looks at both a person's body as well as their mind.
My new Ayurveda doctor gave me a short list of things to do for my spiritual health.
Find a meditation group
She told me to look online for a meditation group near me. I knew there were alot of groups in Cincinnati but I wanted to find one close enough for me to walk to. I don't drive if I can help it. I found a group called sahaja meditation. It is almost a mix of yoga and meditation.

My New Ayurveda Life

I saw my New Ayurveda doctor yesterday. She was very nice and helpful. She looked at my tongue and took my pulse. After answering lots of questions she told me how to live a healthier life.

Physical

• Drink 50 to 100 ounces of water a day
• eat more vegetables 
• eat less fruit - Only one piece a day - one apple or one orange
• Go Gluten free
• Scrap my tongue in morning and evening 
• wash eyes with cool water
• put a little coconut oil on my under my nose
• cook everything - cooked is better then raw even when it comes to fruit
• Don't buy any boxed, canned or refined foods
• When shopping go around the edge of the store instead of going down the rows
• Eat more Indian food

For breakfast she suggested I try steel cut oats mixed with cinnamon, Maple Syrup and milk cooked in a rice cooker.

I will right another post soon about the spiritual things she told me to do.

People Make Me Nervous

Every person around me, man or woman, friend or stranger, makes me nervous, whether they talk to me or not. My heart races, the blood starts pounding in my head, chills run down my spine. My breath grows shorter and faster. My throat tightens leaving me feeling like I am almost out of air. I feel like I am running even when I am standing still.
I know this all started after a bad period of people breaking my trust. I let what those people did and said get to me. I let it change how I saw the world and the people surrounding me. Now I am lost deep in this daily panic, which is very bad for a writer. I have to get over this but I don't know how.
This blog post is my sad attempt to pull myself out of this. I am forcing myself to sit here in a library full of people until I have finished writing today. I am just itching to go home and relax again with a good book.

Another Day of Work and Pain.

Today i went to the library to work on my mid term paper which is due tomorrow. I am still new to this library so i just picked a table on the main floor. After an hour of working on my paper the pain in both my head and my body got to be too much. I became madder and more depressed as i tried to push through the pain. I did not see the solid hour of work i had just done. All i saw was an unfinished paper and me in too much pain to finish it. The battery on my computer died and so i slowly put all my stuff away so i can start the painful walk home. The problem was i was also in too much pain to stand. After two failed attempts and the depressing thought of being alone during such a time, I managed to get up. I walked home, cried, texted Matt, and fixed myself crackers and a glass of jasmine tea. after both the physical and emotion pain went down i called the library. The guy i talked to told me about how the 3rd floor was quiet with long tables and plugs at each table. I am sitting at one of those tables now. After writing this long message I am going to have to get up and walk around for a bit. I am starting to hurt again.

Unnecessary Stress

I read article after article trying to find something good and meaningful to write about. I stress over the outline, trying to make sure each word is in the perfect place. This unnecessary stress has been building up on me for many months. Stress from this blog stress from life in general, building up block by block until I stood in a small windowless room. I was locked in by my own fears. Mostly fear of getting hurt or not being good enough. Well now I am beginning the long process of tearing down the walls, brick by brick.

I was reading another one of those articles just moments ago when I can across this line.

“To get into the travel mindset, you have to treat every day as if you were traveling! Always be open to new experiences, people, food and activities. Branch out of your comfort zone and take daily risks. Unsettle your routines and live like every day is an adventure.”

It suddenly hit me. I use to enjoy every little detail about life and now I barely even see them. That quote is the embodiment of my goal. I want to get back to the point of being able to enjoy the simple act of blowing bubbles or the smell of a summer rain. I want to feel all emotions, good, bad and downright heartbreaking. I will take the good with the bad because there really is nothing worse than the numb nothingness I find myself in lately. 

Energy is Happiness

For me energy and happiness always seem to go hand in hand. If I have energy to get at least a few things done on my to-do list each day then I am also happy. The other side of the coin is if I can happy I get an energy boost.

My daily to-do list is divided into two sections. The first half is written in black ink, while the second half is written in red ink. The black section is a short list of all the things I need or want to do every single day. The second section is longer. It is a list of all the things that need to be done that day or very soon after. Once I finish a task written in red it gets checked off and does not show up again the next day. In order to finish all the black tasks and start working on the red, I need lots of energy.

Over months of trial and error, I have found a few natural energy boosters that work for me. They won’t work for everyone and sometimes one or two don’t even work for me. Just because it does not work one time does not mean I give up.

One that almost always seems to work is drinking a big glass of water. I keep a 32 oz water bottle with me most of the day to sip on. When I start noticing that my energy level is dropping, I take a moment to make sure my bottle is full. To make sure I don’t get too bored with the taste of plain water, I add flavor packets to every other bottle.  Most of the time it is this wonderful grapefruit flavor I love.

Which brings me to my next trick, Citrus. I have always loved citrus fruits, but recently I realized that everything citrus is an energy booster for me. From my grapefruit flavored water, to oranges and even lime scented candles. The taste and smell of citrus is energy for me. Now of course it does not last all day or even a few hours but you can get a lot of things done in 5 or 10 minutes if you have enough energy. I have surrounded myself with citrus so that every time my energy levels drop I am ready. I use citrus scented bath wash and shampoo. I keep bottles of citrus flavored water in the kitchen  and during the summer there is always citrus fruit on the kitchen table.

Chronic Migraines can be very draining and sometimes nothing helps more than a nap.  I always make sure to set the timer on my phone so that I don’t sleep longer than 30 minutes. If I sleep longer than 30 minutes, I wake up feeling very more tried. I don’t know why really but 30 minutes is the magic number when it comes to naps.

If I am doing something like laundry, I always make sure to put on some music to lift my mood and energy. Even just an hour a day is a big help.

These are my natural energy booster tricks. I hope you try a few to see if they work for you.

Dreams of Food and Future

I would like to switch to a whole food traditional Indian diet. I would eat only fresh or frozen fruits, vegetables and meat. My kitchen will always be full of fresh fruits and vegetables. I would never buy canned or boxed food. I hate how much salt is in things like that. I will not have canned food in my house, unless it if pet food. I will make my own soups from all fresh ingredients. Sadly I do not have a kitchen of my own. When at the mercy of family and friends’ cooking, it can be very difficult to avoid unhealthy ingredients. I do my best to choose the healthiest food in the house but I still much eat what others cook. All leftovers must be gone before I can cook something I like. I eat when and what the family eats, both out of respect and out of fear. I respect the work they have put into making the meal and I fear the anger and the words that come if I don’t eat it.

I keep telling myself that soon. I will make money with my writing or find a husband. It would be best to have both. My plan is to work hard on my writing, try not to let others push me back into depression, and save up for a place of my own. I will leave the matter of a husband to God. Maybe he will help my sister and friends to find me a good husband.  

Travel & Exercise

Quotes and inspiration from Travel, There’s nothing like a little fresh Air By Nancy Trejos (@nancytrejos) USA Today Tuesday November 13, 2012

Sadly I have not been able to fly much, but I have still traveled quite a bit. Whether I travel by plane or car, over the last few years I have always traveled with only a carry-on bag.

“Chris McGinnis travels with just a carry-on bag, which leaves little room for running shoes. When he wants to exercise during a trip, he takes long walks.”

When I went to the convention in New Orleans this past March, I did quite a bit of walking. I had to, I didn’t have a car and some streets were too narrow for one anyways. When I travel by car I don’t walk nearly as much as I should.  I have never been to what you would call a “walking friendly” hotel. I didn’t even know such a thing existed until I read this article by Nancy Trejos. I have been missing out.

“The Hotel Wolcott in Midtown Manhattan provides pedometers and walking maps at the front desk.”

I wonder if you get to keep the pedometer after your stay is over?

“Affinia Hotels, which has properties in New York and Washington D.C., offers guests a Walking Tour Kit that contains an Ipod Shuffle or Nano loaded with Affinia Walking Tours and workout playlists, a City Walks deck of cards, a city guidebook, a map pedometer and towel.”

Even with all that I don’t think I would be walking around New York or D.C. in the middle of winter.

“The Hotel Palomar San Diego has a “Walk this Way” package. In addition to a deluxe room, guests get a pedometer, bottled water, power bar and foot lotion. Those who walk more than 10,000 steps the day they check in get 50% off a room if they return to the Palomar San Diego or Palomar Los Angeles by the end of this year.”

Too bad I won’t have the money for a plane ticket anytime soon.

My life in recap.

I think it is time for a quick recap of what has happened lately in my life.

I failed classes in both the fall and spring semesters at Thomas More College in northern Kentucky. I was having too many migraines and just was not able to focus. So I decided to take the fall 2012 semester off. My plan was to work at the museum and work on getting better.

September 23^rd was my last day working at the Speed Art Museum.   They closed for three years to renovate.  During my last month working at the Museum, I looked for jobs in between all the migraines. I didn’t find anything but then again, I didn’t expect to. Who is going to hire someone who can’t get out of bed two to three days a week?

I applied for unemployment and went home to wait. By that point I was really starting to like the time I had and the idea of being a full time writer, though I knew I needed more discipline. My days were spent enjoying breakfast with my dad while we watched Anderson Cooper Live, taking my dad were he wanted to go that morning, and having the afternoons free to work on my to-do list or whatever else I wanted to do. I loved it and I still do.

My health got worse when I developed serve acid reflex and chest pain as a side effect of a medicine I was and still am on. My system will not accept even on day without this medicine.  I realized that there was no way I could ever find a job to support myself with my health like it is.  So I applied for SSI and Section 8.

Two days before I was to get my first unemployment check, I received a phone call from a very rude man, telling me that I would not be getting even the $30 per week I was expecting. The reason? I was not applying for full time work.

Now I am beginning into a new life as a full time writer who suffers from migraines. My parents know I want to write but I have not completely spelled out my desire to not work a part time job while I write. Somehow I am managing to live fairly well on only a $19 a month income from where my truck was stolen in June of 2011.   

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Living with Migraines

In order to live your life to the fullest when you have chronic headaches, it's important to be fully present whenever possible.

Migraines are not headaches

I live with this pain, this god awful pain that lives in my head with the sole purpose of tearing me apart. I live with this pain every day.

People tell me "Well I know how you feel I had a headache yesterday. I just took a Tylenol and then I was fine, you so do that." They don't go thought this every day. They don't understand how much pain I am in everyday of my life.